So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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