No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
