In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
