I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
