Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
