I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
