sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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