I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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