i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I believe in your delicious
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
