: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
