Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
