atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
