happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
