NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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