super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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