He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
