my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize