She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just found puke in my bra..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I fill condoms, not promises.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
