at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
