Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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