I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
