Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
