It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize