fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize