That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize