He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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