Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
