i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
