i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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