pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize