He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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