Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
