I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
