ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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