There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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