So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
