Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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