So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
