I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
