I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
