We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
