hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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