This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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