STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
