I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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