I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
