His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
