Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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