in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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