i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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