Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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