i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
