U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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