Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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