we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
