how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
