i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
