I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
