i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You are the jesus of drinking
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize