so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
