just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
